Covid Accomplishments — BEEZY DESIGNS

As I sit sedentary and gain the required COVID-19 (lbs), some facts have become apparent.

1. If you want to test your relationship, go through an internet outage during a work-from-home day. I got so frustrated that Matty had to ask me, “Do you think I personally created the internet outage in the area?”. I took a long moment to consider that possibility before grumpily apologizing.

2. If you want to test your relationship, go through an internet outage during a work-from-home day. I got so frustrated that Matty had to ask me, “Do you think I personally created the internet outage in the area?”. I took a long moment to consider that possibility before grumpily apologizing.

3. Quarantine has reinforced the fact that I am allergic to cooking. Though I have never been a good cook, I hit a new low when I tried to reheat a McDonald’s burger and literally charred it beyond its sesame seed bun recognition. I’ve been relegated back to my air fryer with the parental control setting enabled.

4. I have not been “saving” the way Matty expected me to. Matty asked if I have been saving money and I said “OMG SO MUCH!! JCrew was 40% today!”. Apparently those were not the type of savings that he was inquiring about.

5. I’ve had to stop listening to my true crime podcasts because I’ve developed a new (totally rational) fear that I will be murdered. My sister said I shouldn't worry because I am not rich so no one would want me dead. Sisters always know the right thing to say.

6. I have absorbed Matty’s wardrobe as my own. He finds this especially problematic because I have a tendency to forget to wear deodorant and spill things on myself. However I think the real cause for concern is why does someone I love love neon sweat shorts?

7. Wearing masks has been a productive new development for me. It is a built in diet plan, Not only do I don’t have to put makeup on the bottom half of my face and I don’t have to worry about having bad breath. The only downside is I have also had to temporarily retire the vegan joke I tell at the grocery store meat counter because the butcher can't understand me through the mask.

As coronavirus continues, I will continue on my COVID-19 induced personal journey and strive towards milestone accomplishments like not buying a tie dye loungewear suit. I just hope this ends before I try to cut my own bangs.