D-I-Y WHY Did We Plan Our Own Wedding
At the beginning of January 2020, Matty and I “engaged” .. which is a direct quote from my favorite 7 year old cousin. Much to her dismay, Matty and I decided to plan a super small wedding without inviting said favorite cousin. She was disheartened until she calculated that my sister would be her next best option to petition for flower girl and quickly asked, “When will Katie engage?”
Without knowing that Coronavirus would engulf many other’s wedding plans, our wedding was spared any disruption since we were only going to invite immediate family. The date was set for a fall Friday because we accidentally told the photographer the wrong date. After the wedding date was selected by mistake, we considered our wedding 90% planned and did nothing until the month before.
I assumed planning a 15 person wedding would be easy but, as someone who is wrong often...I was wrong about this too. I found myself questioning the decision of going without professional help multiple times (Insert joke about me already needing professional help here).
Before I dive into all the mistakes I made planning our wedding, I would like to formally thank Amazon Prime, the official sponsor of our wedding. An honorable mention goes to my current husband for his manual labor and emotional support, but he still second to Amazon Prime.
The Vision
Though we had a small wedding, I would describe my decor visions as the opposite of small. I wanted to have a casual boho beach ceremony followed by a more formal nautically inspired navy formal dinner requiring outfit changes and no consistency in flowers or decor. One wedding. Two styles. A tale of two personalities if you will. I am sure a planner would have said “Just pick one vision and save the other for your second wedding.”
The beach scene was initially hard for some guests to comprehend. Those who will remain nameless couldn't fathom that I was buying rugs and pillows to drag to the beach, to lay out on the sand to then discard after a 15 minute ceremony. They grappled with understanding why someone would want to sit on a pillow, on a rug, on the beach. But once I informed my guests that the curated pillows and rugs would be their wedding favors, they leaned in Sheryl Sandberg style. After our wedding ceremony, I was Oprah of boho accessories, doling out free rugs, pillows, and tassels.
The Napkins
The only drawback of the dinner was that I couldn’t find a napkin that I liked. This was because of me, not the current online marketplace for napkins. I decided that I would just make napkins. However, by “me make the napkins” I mean, I would find the fabric and then have my Eagle Scout assistant Matthew make them for me as a selfless act of community service.
The Rentals
As a self diagnosed overpacker, Matt’s SUV became my mobile storage unit, overflowing with all of my Pinterest inspired hopes and dreams. A planner definitely would have recommended using a rental company over purchasing a personal inventory of 25 flower vases or sourcing the bar lighting from my parent’s bedroom nightstands.
The Flowers
Without naming names or including links, I had a subpar florist. When my bouquet arrived, it looked more like a broom than a bridal bouquet. I was laughing too hard to cry so instead I just took a pair of scissors to my parent’s front yard and made my own. The bar was already set pretty low for how it looked but I still wouldn't recommend making your own bouquet. I am sure a planner wouldn’t recommend using yourself as your florist on your wedding morning, especially if your only floral arrangement skills are buying pre-made bouquets from Trader Joes.
The Beauty Fails
I am sure a planner would have advised against me trying both a new self tanner or getting my eyebrows waxed at a random Delaware strip mall the week of our wedding. The self tanner mistake was easier to fix than the missing ⅓ of my left eyebrow.
The Outfits
I spent an embarrassingly large amount of time compiling outfits I expected our guests to wear, providing them with vision boards and asking to approve their interpretation of my visions. However, I forgot to consider my getting ready outfits when packing for the beach and ended up wearing the following outfits the day of our wedding.
The Hired Help
On the day of our wedding, the guests doubled as my day-laborers. Initially there were complaints, but those were quickly drowned out by the sounds of shotgunned beers once they discovered the bar had already been set up.
The Timeline
Like 99% of all other women, adhering to a timeline is not a strength of mine. The lack of professional oversight ensured that timing on our wedding day was no different. We had a 4:45PM ceremony start time but according to my iPhone camera roll, I was setting up the beach with my mom at 4:07 PM and finishing decorating the table at 4:26 PM.
The Veil
The veil was another DIY hack I any planner would not recommend. Why? Because I held my mother’s veil together with clear packing tape .
The Bridesmaids
A planner would have encouraged us to be strategic about choosing those who surrounded us on our wedding day. However, without professional advice, I found myself overshadowed by 3 guests. They were my parent’s 3 dogs, which is understandable if you have ever met my parent’s dogs.
Before I met with the florist, my dad asked that his girls have flowers. I thought he was referring to my mother, my sister and thought “How Sweet!” but alas, he meant the dogs. They stole the show, looking incredible in their outfits and one even got rather handsy (pawsy) with my husband 5 minutes after we got married!
For my next wedding I am definitely hiring a planner to marry the same groom.
